please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
