those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
