dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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