Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
