physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
