1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
