i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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