I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
