respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
