i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
