The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I believe in your delicious
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
