I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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