Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
