the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
