just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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