Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
her facebook's as public as her vagina
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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