I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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