either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
