Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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