dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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