Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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