She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
