Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
