Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
