He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
