I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize