White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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