im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
