You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
