Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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