around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
