Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
