On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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