I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
