Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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