and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
