That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
