you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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