The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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