so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
this hospital has no fireball
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize