oh god the rape fog is back!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
