i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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