At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
