before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
