What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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