One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
