Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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