My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize