i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize