I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize