Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
