If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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