He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
