my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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