Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
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