have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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