how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
