I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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