singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
